All by myself...

solitude
sol-i-tude
noun
1: the quality or state of being alone or remote from society : seclusion
2: a lonely place (as a desert)
3: something I desperately despise

Sure, I have the occasional need for alone time...which lasts about 3 hours, and then I'm ready to rejoin society. And my craving for alone time comes only once in a blue moon. What can I say? I'm an extrovert to the fullest extent. With my hubs in Chicago for a long weekend, I don't know what to do with myself. This is driving me CRAZY!!! I am literally a crazed person right now. I have *plenty to do to keep me busy - taking care of the dog, doing chores, errands, planting in the flower beds - but no one with whom to share it. I'm pacing, I'm feeling panicky, and I officially hate being alone.

**I had my first real visit with my "little" on Friday. Will share details in a separate post.

An example:
After a long, hard day at work Sean prefers to return home for a quiet and relaxing evening. So relaxing, in fact, that he may not lift a finger all night (except to click the mouse on his laptop.) This is how Sean decompresses and recharges his batteries. I'm quite the opposite. After a long day at work where my brain is fried to the point I have a stress headache, I want to throw a party, go to happy hour with friends, get people together for dinner, ANYTHING that involves human interaction. I don't even care if it's with strangers. I de-stress by mingling.

Sean left on Thursday night and won't be returning until late Monday. That's FOUR long nights of solitude for those of you who are counting. The minute I got home from dropping him off at the airport, I called and texted just about everyone I know who lives in a 20 mile radius. I think I was entering panic mode. I was desperate. See, knowing that I'd be crazy I went ahead and planned an evening with my friend Diva, but those plans fell through and she needed to reschedule. How dare she leave me in my hour of need! I wanted to do something...with someone...dinner...talking...drinking...whatever! Just anything to avoid being alone. Unfortunately, my electronic mobile device must've been broken because no one responded. So I moped...and I moped some more on Friday...and did some more calling and texting, but to no avail.

Friday evening as I was half way through a bottle of Cabernet and in the middle of streaming a Glee re-run , I got a call!!! An actual phone call. One of my failed attempts had returned my call from the night before and asked if I wanted to join a group of friends a The Bunganut Pig. ohmygodyesthankyousomuchforcalling! And as I was getting ready to walk out the door, a second friend responded and agreed to meet me there as well. It was bliss. The band sucked big time, but I was thrilled just to be in an energized environment.

I was also invited for dinner at Jeff and Sherieda's tonight. Yes, it was a pity invite because they know how pathetic I am right now, and no, I don't care. I'm going regardless! I'll be there with bells on.

Just one more day of being alone, and thankfully it involves Easter Sunday service with my mom and Jimmy. It will at least be something to help pass the time. There's not shortage of conversation when mother is involved...

Les News

Last Saturday was full of outdoor activities and warm weather; today we're hanging out inside and doing chores. It's rainy and only 55 degrees (brr!) I'm fighting the urge to turn the heat on...

Work is going well for the both of us, and Sean is still flying once a week. It's time for him to start working on cross-country solo flights (which are destinations 50 miles away or more). In the next week or so, Sean and his instructor will be heading to Memphis to eat at Rendezvous (yum!) and see a Redbirds game. And at some point this summer (if I find the nerve) I'm planning to fly with him to Birmingham to eat at Saw's and visit the museum of flight. If it's one thing that will lure me into a small airplane, it's damn good BBQ.

This coming week holds some very exciting things for us. First, I'm meeting my "little sister" for the first time. Now, before your start thinking this is some secret love child that one of my parents kept hidden from me, let me explain: I volunteered to be a "Big Sister" for Big Brothers/Big Sisters mentorship program. I was fortunate enough to have wonderful "big sister" mentors enter my life when I was a pre-teen, so I'm excited about the opportunity to pay it forward. I was accepted into the program last week and matched almost immediately with a 10 year old girl who lives very close by. Monday I'll meet with my "little" and her mom, along with our Match Support Specialist. And assuming they like me, we'll begin weekly visits over the next year. I'm crazy-excited about all the fun activities that we'll get to share. Obviously, I'll keep her identity anonymous, but I do plan on sharing updates with you guys. Right now I'm a little nervous about the first meeting. Everyone keeps saying "Just be yourself!" Ha. It's just that, this is a very important first impression so I want to make sure it goes well. Wish me luck!

Tuesday is another exciting event...LADY GAGA. That's right, Sean and I will be seeing Gaga live and in concert. I'm preparing to have my mind blown by the most outlandish production of all time. You may be wondering how in the world I convinced my husband to see Lady Gaga. And let me tell you, it didn't take much work. He fessed up to being a full-blown pop-music fan several years ago. He also agreed to let me purchase Gaga tickets after he vetoed my request for a foreign exchange student. (Thankfully, he didn't ask how much they cost until AFTER I bought them...)

So there you have it - the latest news from the suburbs.

A Hot Spring Weekend

What do you find yourself doing on a hot spring weekend? And by hot I mean, 85 degrees and humid...ick.

Friday my Sister rolled into town from Lexington. We had a nice dinner on mom's patio and enjoyed telling stories and catching up.

On Saturday Sean and I joined our 3rd annual MS Walk with The Pirates (a.k.a. my friend Sherri). Our team raised over $1500 this year!!! Many thanks to all of you who contributed to our fundraising efforts. The team walked proudly together through Edwin Warner Park on Saturday (sweating, of course) and then we celebrated over a Mexican lunch. Murphy got to join us at the restaurant, too, and he was one happy pup.

Following lunch, Sean attempted to re-build the pergola. And after a 4 hour battle (which included a trip to Home Depot), he lost the fight. But not for long! He got back at it again today with more nuts, bolts and duct tape, and he won!!! The pergola is standing tall on the patio this evening as if the pseudo-tornado never happened. I watched him laboring from my kitchen window, and all I can say is Thank God for Husbands. You heard me. I would have NEVER had the patience or the skill to re-build a pile of metal scraps.

Late in the afternoon, I met up with my sister and little bro for a walk in the park. The weather kept us hot and sticky so we didn't stay out too long. We tried to cool ourselves in the shade, but with no money to spend on the ice cream truck we decided to head home to the cool AC!

Saturday night turned into a lovely Date Night for Sean and me. Earlier in the week I stumbled across an ad for a pizzeria called Bella Napoli. Me being the pizza lover that I am decided that we MUST try it...and soon! The restaurant venue is adorable and romantic. Most of the tables are placed outside in a private alley, beneath a canopy of white Christmas lights. Sitting snug between the buildings reminded us of our honeymoon in Italy. Going to Bella Napoli gave also gave us a chance to see a part of Nashville that we'd never explored - Edgehill Village. As suburbanites, we've really lost touch with the downtown area so I think this date night helped us restore some of our coolness. Oh, and the pizza was delish! Perfect crispy crust, fresh ingredients...MMmmmmm....

Just as we were leaving the restaurant - bellys full and quite content - we spotted owner/chef Paolo. We know Paolo from his work at Valentino's, an up-scale Italian restaurant just up the road. Paolo may not know it, but he had a personal hand in making our honeymoon very special. Four years ago as we were leaving for Italy, Paolo insisted that we meet up with his sister-in-law in Florence. He made sure she had our names and the name of our hotel, and upon arriving (very late and with no luggage) we had a message from Emanuella, that she had been by to see us. Two days later Emanuella gave us a tour of the city and took us to her favorite restaurant. We had the most amazing time hanging out with her, and felt so lucky to receive local hospitality from Nashville all the way to Florence. I didn't stop and speak to Paolo last night because I wasn't quite sure it was him until after we got in the car...but next time I'll be sure to speak to him. And there will be a next time! (hopefully not too long from now).

I woke up early this Sunday morning, about 6:30, and everything was so quiet and beautifully lit by the morning sun. The air was still somewhat cool (anything is cool compared to 85), so I stayed outside a little longer and snapped a photo of my pretty pink dogwood. Then I fixed scratch biscuits for breakfast before heading to church. Church was followed by jog, which was followed by lunch at Sperry's with the family. We said our farewells to Sister - sad to see her go because I barely got to see her, but we'll meet up again next month for our Sisters Weekend in NYC!

Blown Away

I was blown away when I spotted this mess in our back yard last night (pun intended). Yeeeeeiiiiikes!

For those of you who don't know, we used to have a pergola on our patio. It was my birthday gift from Sean last year, and we've enjoyed it so much. A nice, shady place to sit and rest a while...a place to take naps or eat lunch or read books on pretty days...a place to sip sweet tea (or swaayt taaay as we say down south...). Well, now my birthday pergola is just a big mess strewn all about the yard - poo!

Yesterday we experienced some pretty nasty weather here in Middle Tennessee. There was a tornado scare in Cool Springs, the part of town where Sean and I work, and I spent some time in the tornado shelter in our office. I may have actually ran down the hallway screaming "Auntie Em! Auntie Em!" The rain and winds were brutal, and clearly my pergola couldn't handle it! The darn thing just took flight right into our neighbor's yard and crashed into a million pieces.

Good. Better. Best.

For this post, I was initially going to use the theme "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly." It seemed catchy. And I enjoy categorizing things. I thought it also might be used as a weekly recurring post...but then I decided it sounded too negative. I changed it to "Good. Better. Best." Let's see how this shakes out...

GOOD:

Much like the changing of the seasons, my house is in transition mode right now...and I'm really trying hard to maintain a nonchalant attitude about it. Everything is still...under...control...No worries! Transitioning to my Spring wardrobe means the winter clothes are in piles across my bedroom floor, waiting patiently to be vacuumed into giant plastic bags. A can of vibrant teal paint is sitting in the hallways waiting to be lathered on my half bath walls. A bolt of bright floral fabric is leaning in the corner of the breakfast nook waiting to be cut, sewn and hung as curtains. A closet full of garage sale items needs to be sorted, priced and sold. A full list of to-dos and to-buys is scratched in my pretty red planner, but none have yet to be executed. But it's all GOOD...

BETTER:

The weekend. The weekend will be better. Better weather. Better fun. The weekend is when I plan on getting somewhat caught up on my list of to-dos. I'm excited to complete some spring cleaning projects: washing couch cushions, pillow, curtains and mattresses. The weather on Saturday is forecasted as 65 and sunny, and Emily will be in town for the arrival of her best friend's baby (and hopefully we can steal some of her time).

BEST:

Wow, this is tough. What deserves the title of "Best thing going on in my life at this moment?" I guess it could be a lot of things depending on which approach you take...Hmmmm...maybe the fact that I'm ALIVE? That's pretty darn "best" if you ask me! But seriously...I would describe "best" as something that can't be improved because it's perfect the way it is. And the award goes to...drum roll please...Nothing.

I've been marinating on this idea of "best" for almost an entire day. The idea seemed light-hearted and innocent when I started typing this entry, but now the thought of "best" has become completely overwhelming to me. The following is an email exchange between Emily and me. What a thoughtful and encouraging friend/sister-in-law I have! Her words on the subject of "best" are something that everyone should consider:

*****************************

From: Stace

Sent:Tuesday, March 29, 2011

To: Emily

Subject: the best

I need your help with brainstorming. I started typing a blog entry called "Good. Better. Best." I completed my "good" and my "better" but I can't for the life of me come up with a "best." I would describe the "best" as something that's the MOST exciting or MOST complete, perfect thing in my life. But sadly, I don't feel 100% content with anything...like, ever. I mean, a big part of who I am is constantly searching for improvement. SOooo...should I abandoned the "best" category, or do you have any suggestions? You're good at getting me thinking...

From: Emily

Sent: Tuesday, March 29, 2011

To: Stace

Subject: RE: the best

I would encourage you to think about things in a new way. Your phrasing, "But sadly, I don't feel 100% content with anything..." starts you off in a negative place. Is that really a negative thing? Do we find contentment in stagnancy? I would say that stagnancy is when we have the most room for growth...the most opportunities to expand and renew.

Your propensity to seek improvement is an investment in your life.

Do you want to go to work mindlessly every day and never question what could be? Isn't it wonderful that the opportunities are endless? Isn't it great that you get to carve out a new path every day? Nothing is set in stone. Things can always be changed and rearranged and tweaked. Isn't that the best? That, even with a schedule, you can make changes to it.

Also, I would challenge you to look to the things that make you feel secure and safe. While those things may be ever changing, they might be the best.

What do you not question? What do you know in your gut?

It is okay that you might not have an answer for that. It is okay if you do.

Think about how great it is that even if you don't have an answer...there is this space just waiting for something to move in. It is like a closet you never knew you had...just waiting to store treasures. No clutter...treasures.

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And so, to finally share my "best" with you...since I've created a ridiculously large amount of suspense...it's my quest for flexibility (which includes adding color to my life!) and desire to grow, learn and change. THAT is the BEST. And do you know what's the BEST-EST?? The fact that I have a wonderful support system of family and friends who accept me for who I am and encourage me to think positively.

And just like that...

...winter is gone! Woah. Who could be more thankful than this girl right here??? (points to self) Happy First Days of Spring, everyone! Forsythia and Dogwoods and Tulips, oh my. Bloom, baby, bloom! Isn't all this life and light invigorating?

Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore of the dreary, cold, nasty sky - voila! God, like, cracked open his 'Magic Box of Spring Fun' or something...


Speaking of FUN...Sean and I got to spend the weekend with The Jensen Family. These people rock:




I'm so thankful for nice weather. So thankful for SUN and DAYLIGHT. Thankful that we had the PERFECT weather and got to spend the weekend outdoors with our awesome friends. Hiking, walking, eating outside, sleeping with the windows open...it was bliss! Thankful for flip flops. Thankful that I can jog with Murphy without having to wear Under Armour long sleeves...and take him for potty breaks without freezing to death. Murphy appreciates the warm weather, too! Maybe even more than me. Murphy has been SMILING non-stop, and he can't get enough of being outside. Sunday he and I laid outside and dozed off in the sunlight. All I could see when I looked up were white puffy clouds, blue skies and Bradford Pear blooms. Beeeeeee-utiful.

Lucky Charms

I found me lucky charms.

I've never found a four leaf clover, but God gave me amazing friends. He also gave me the most Irish looking husband ever! (love you, baby). And although it was like herding cats at times, Brewfest 2011 was still great loads of fun.

Front row: Sherri, Sherieda, Jonathan, Me

Back row: Bethany, John, Jeff and Sean

Now, if I could just find an efficient way to load the rest of the pictures....

Stay tuned for more!

Stace