What Happens When You Post Scrap Metal on Craig's List

Scrap Metal - Backyard Pergola Frame

Thanks to our relentless Spring thunderstorms, our backyard pergola
blew down. Twice.

Now, it's just a pile of aluminum rods and columns sitting next to our
house.

For anyone interested, this may be a good amount of scrap metal to go
cash in - and it's yours for the taking. I doubt it could be built
again, especially since all the assembly hardware has already been
discarded. We will be having a garage sale tomorrow from 8am - 12pm,
so the first person who comes by tomorrow morning wins!

Attached is a photo of what it used to look like before Mother Nature
took out her fury on our awesome backyard accessory. Balloons, chairs,
and general state of put-togetherness not included. You just get a
pile of metal stuff.

Address: XXX Franklin, TN.

***Below are the original responses we received. The only edits I made were removing phone numbers. Enjoy.

SU SU
hi i am interested your pergola frame im in jackson tenneessee i coming to nashville sunday so if you can dont bay that to any body i want to take that of is ok please calle me @ 731-XXX-XXXX or send me msn thank u

Su Su,

Don't worry, we won't bay that to any body because we don't know what you're saying. And P.S. You may want to consider integrating punctuation sometime in the near future. It's fairly popular.

Jessica
I have interest please let me know you address to pick up, thanks

Dear Jessica,
The address is in the effing post. We've deemed you too dumb to take our scrap metal. I would call you "retarded," but I'm not using that word anymore.

Terrence
Hi, my name is tj. i have a scrap business and can remove the hole scrap pile away. if its still there I promise i will be there at your house between 7:30-7:45am. thanks and i'll even bring a few bucks to buy something at your garage sale. can someone call me to let me know its still there. i can start getting it tonight as well if you would like. the # is 615-XXX-XXXX or 615-XXX-XXXX ask for tj.

TJ,
You seem like a nice guy! I'll forgive you for using "hole" instead of "whole." But listen, we're not going to call you, lazy ass. Just come get the scrap metal! And even if we WERE going to call you, we definitely know to ask for TJ because that's how the phone works. Duh.

Mandy
Yea i was needin to talk to u about the gazebo please call if u still have it 615-XXXX909
$$Mandy$$
You can reach me at 615XXXX909

Dollar Sign Dollar Sign Mandy Dollar Sign Dollar Sign,

Damn girl! You got a long name. And for the love of GOD, WE AREN'T CALLING ANYONE. Also, no - you weren't needin to talk to us. We're the ones who started this conversation with our post!

Sheena
if still available please call 615-XXX-XXXX. thanks.

Sheena,

Really!? Another request for a call!? When are you people going to learn...

Mumzee
I live in Franklin also. Whoever picks your pergola up can have mine too. When mine collapsed I ended up going to the ER for 7 stitches. Pile of metal in the backyard....

Oh, dear Mumzee,
Where to begin? You have serious issues if you think we're about to strike up a chat-room friendship from a Craig's List post. I bet my garage sale money that you call radio personality Delilah every Friday night. No one gives a shit about your stitches. You're creepy and lonely.

Terrance
Hi, my name is tj.just wanted to remind you that if its still there I promise you I will be there at your house between 7:30-7:45am tp pick scrap up. thanks and i'll even bring a few bucks to buy something at your garage sale. can someone call me to let me know its still there. i can start getting it tonight as well if you would like. the # is 615-207-5637 or 615-471-1944 ask for tj.

TJ,
YOU DON'T NEED TO REMIND US OF ANYTHING! IT'S ONLY BEEN AN HOUR AND A HALF SINCE YOUR FIRST RESPONSE. ALSO, OUR LISTING CLEARLY STATES TO COME BY TOMORROW. IS IT TOMORROW YET? No. No, it is NOT.

Derek
are the metal parts bent at all?

Dear Derek,

Yes.

Kevin
I COULD COME PICK IT UP TONIGHT IF U WOULD LIKE TO GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY B4 UR YARD SALE IN THE MORNING OR I CAN NB THERE AT 7 AM

OMG, KEVIN! WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME!? WE JUST MET! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I OFFERED YOU FREE STUFF. Jeez, man. Lighten up.

Bella
Hi there. I am inquiring about the scrap metal that you have posted. If it is still available, I could come by in the am tomorrow and pick everything up? I have a large van so it would not be a problem. Please email or call at your convenience and let me know the best time to come by. I really appreciate your time. Thanks.

Bella
#753-XXXX

Dear Bella,

What a relief! Finally, someone NORMAL and polite. I was beginning to think that I needed to reinstate the use of the word "retarded."

Scenes from Inside the Perimeter

May has been a total blur, and I have SO much to write about. A post about my trip to NYC is coming soon, I promise. But first I'll share the details of our friend-filled Memorial Day weekend in Atlanta (it's all the blogging I can muster before bed)...

To kick-start Memorial Day weekend we made the long overdue trip down to the A-T-L to see Luca and Adrienne. Or, if you're an extreme feminist, you may prefer Adrienne and Luca. Either way, they're the same 2 people and we love them dearly.

Because we're on a budget, the plans were simple: hang out, do some talking, eat at Flip Burger and laugh a lot. Oh! And get to the pool. We accomplished all PLUS some extras. One particular "extra" was our trip to Your Dekalb Farmers Market . Okay, I understand it's not YOURS because you probably don't live in Atlanta, but that's the actual name of the market. The market was INSANELY huge, crowded and quite overwhelming, but I'm so glad we got the chance to experience it. It was an impressive operation, and saw the most unusual foods I've ever witnessed with my own eyes.

Strange ginormous green fruit next to coconuts

Sean makes an important call on his snake cucumber phone

Because it's an international market, Luca blends right in

After the market, Adrienne had the best idea ever: Popsicles at King of Pops. Not having a sweet tooth, I wasn't particularly interested in a mid-afternoon popsicles, but I figured "what the heck?" We drove out of our way (raw meat and fish in tow) to a corner gas station where I spotted a food cart. Just a dude sitting under and umbrella selling popsicles. But they aren't just ANY popsicles. No, they're ARTISANAL Popsicles (or something like that...) Just know that they're effing amazing, k? I had a Banana Pudding Popsicle that I don't reckon I'll ever forget.

Dinner at Flip Burger in Midtown left us fat and happy. Sean and I each tried the chorizo burger which was topped with an egg over easy and finely shredded manchago cheese. And because we completely forgot about those popsicles we had earlier, for dessert we sucked down a Krispy Kreme donut milkshake and another that tasted like Nutella and burnt marshmallow.

Sunday was hot and toasty which made it the perfect day for a pool party. Listen, ya'll - I was born to be in the water! Luca invited a few of his friends, and the 7 of us toasted in the sun and took cool dips for several hours. Ahhhhh. Bliss. After our toes were sufficiently shriveled into prunes, we started the big cookout. It wasn't just any cookout, mind you. It was an enormous feast! Our group made a ridiculously large amount of food which consisted of ribeyes, shrimp, veggie burgers, grilled veggies, sauteed kale and Adrienne's homemade gluten free cobblers. The peach cobbler (although, free of gluten) was so tasty that I had 2 helpin's. The "flour" she used was coconut flour, and I must say...the slight hint of coconut was a nice compliment to the peaches. Hrrrmmmm...new idea for a recipe? Maybe so.

I particularly enjoyed the feast preparation. Maybe because there was so much energy in the kitchen. Maybe because it felt like a throwback to my old food service days. Or maybe it was because everyone knew their role and we just jived. As I kept saying, "It's like we live in a village, ya'll!" At any given time, there were 4 of us trying to use the stove or the same plot of counterspace. It was a little bit of chaos, but it worked out just perfectly.

One of the best things about the entire weekend (besides spending time with our cool friends) was the total lack of CICADAS. Yup, we got to leave those creepy red-eyed boogers back at home for nearly 3 days, and our weekend was so quiet without them. In all seriousness, we had a lovely time. We plan to use our borrowed box set of the Six Feet Under series to lure Adrienne & Luca back to Tennessee sometime in the near future.

Eight Days of May

So far we're 8 days into May. How did we get here so quickly!? Is it just me, or did April WHIZ by??? Already it's been a very eventful month, and it's only been 1 week! I happen to really love the month of May. It's my birthday month after all! And I'm excited about what the rest of this month has to hold, but here's what we've been up to thus far:

Had an important meeting at work - trying to close a Big Deal, which would be awesome for the company and for me.

Wednesday we joined Phil and Linda for a game of trivia at Mellow Mushroom. 2nd place, not too shabby! And Thursday we celebrated Cinco de Mayo with our other great pals Jeff and Sherieda. A really fantastic Beatles cover band was playing at Sopapillas. I mean, who wouldn't have a Beatles cover band play on Cinco de Mayo??? As if that weren't exciting enough, we were treated to our very first hot air balloon ride. Yes, at a Mexican restaurant...with the fake Beatles...it was a trifecta of awesomeness. So we're 5o feet in the air, in a basket with a giant nylon balloon overhead. Besides Dark Side of the Rainbow, it was the most mind blowing Wizard of Oz moment I've ever experienced. Surprisingly, the ride up was very smooth, but I wasn't a fan of the giant blast of butane inches above my head.

Another exciting part of my week was having a nice chat with my brother. We talked about the impending 13 Year Cicada Swam that will be here ANY day now. Last time the swarm was here my bro wasn't even alive! He's never seen the swarm, and as a bug lover he's really excited about it. One full month of loud, obnoxious, ginormous "flies" who hatch from the earth to mate, lay eggs and then die. MILLIONS of cicadas are about to start swarming our area. Really, it's great...aren't their little red eyes so cute??


Saturday Sean and I attended The Great Tennessee Air Show in Smyrna. I was able meet his flight instructor and see the super teensy miniature plane that he flies every week. We left the air show and headed straight to The Plowmans' annual Derby Party. Big hat, cucumber tea sandwiches and mint juleps. Our horse didn't win, but a great time was had by all.

And obviously, with today being Mother's Day, I spend the day with my mama. (Bonnie is down in FL visiting her mother, so Sean had to borrow mine for the day). Church, lunch at Dumplin's and an afternoon at Arrington Vineyards. It was a truly beautiful day. OK, a leeeetle bit too warm, but I really can't complain. Mom got ME a Mother's Day gift - a new Pandora bead. I said, "But wait - I'm not a mother!" and she said, "But I wouldn't be a mama without you, so that's why you get a present."

I take that back - I am a mama of sorts. This is my baby Murphy on Friday night, sitting at the table with us during dinner. As we like to say, "He thinks he's a people."

The Big Sale

This Saturday we rose extra early in order to hit the best neighborhood garage sale of the season: WESTHAVEN. Doesn't it just sound fancy??? I was down with a fever earlier this week, and despite the fact that I desperately needed to rest, I powered through the morning in the name of Dirty. Cheap. Bargains.

With mounds of disorganized junk spread across hundreds of acres, it's quite easy to become overwhelmed at neighborhood garage sales. This is why you must come prepared with a list of items you're hoping to score. On my list? because you know I love my lists...Colorful vases to add to my "collection," a rug for the den, picture frames, weed eater, chandelier for the bathroom, art/prints, an army green jacket, and scarves.

Even with a list I found myself becoming frustrated, distracted, and scared that we'd miss out on the best deals of the day if we didn't rush through. But at the same time, you still need to hunt and peck for those hidden treasures. There's truly an art to becoming a skilled garage saler, and honestly, I don't know that I care to ever become one. That's why Westhaven is the only sale of the year for us. In addition to Westhaven, we hit 2 other nearby neighborhood sales. Three hours and $40 later, we returned with our rewards:

4 Picture Frames
Preppy yellow belt
Vintage purse
3 classic piano books (sheet music)
2 novels
2 vintage hob-nob vases
*Electric edger

*this baby wasn't even for sale. Sean has been itchin' for an edger, and I saw it hanging in someone's garage. I thought it was part of an estate sale, but turns out it was the man's very own edger. Luck for us, he never uses it! And he offered to sell it to us for $10.00. SCORE.

And while I know don't think we haggled as much as we could have, I can sleep easy knowing that we reached an average of $2.86 per item. Woo!

Raechel Meyers, a local blogger and master garage saler, is my inspiration. She will WOW you with her mad skills.

All by myself...

solitude
sol-i-tude
noun
1: the quality or state of being alone or remote from society : seclusion
2: a lonely place (as a desert)
3: something I desperately despise

Sure, I have the occasional need for alone time...which lasts about 3 hours, and then I'm ready to rejoin society. And my craving for alone time comes only once in a blue moon. What can I say? I'm an extrovert to the fullest extent. With my hubs in Chicago for a long weekend, I don't know what to do with myself. This is driving me CRAZY!!! I am literally a crazed person right now. I have *plenty to do to keep me busy - taking care of the dog, doing chores, errands, planting in the flower beds - but no one with whom to share it. I'm pacing, I'm feeling panicky, and I officially hate being alone.

**I had my first real visit with my "little" on Friday. Will share details in a separate post.

An example:
After a long, hard day at work Sean prefers to return home for a quiet and relaxing evening. So relaxing, in fact, that he may not lift a finger all night (except to click the mouse on his laptop.) This is how Sean decompresses and recharges his batteries. I'm quite the opposite. After a long day at work where my brain is fried to the point I have a stress headache, I want to throw a party, go to happy hour with friends, get people together for dinner, ANYTHING that involves human interaction. I don't even care if it's with strangers. I de-stress by mingling.

Sean left on Thursday night and won't be returning until late Monday. That's FOUR long nights of solitude for those of you who are counting. The minute I got home from dropping him off at the airport, I called and texted just about everyone I know who lives in a 20 mile radius. I think I was entering panic mode. I was desperate. See, knowing that I'd be crazy I went ahead and planned an evening with my friend Diva, but those plans fell through and she needed to reschedule. How dare she leave me in my hour of need! I wanted to do something...with someone...dinner...talking...drinking...whatever! Just anything to avoid being alone. Unfortunately, my electronic mobile device must've been broken because no one responded. So I moped...and I moped some more on Friday...and did some more calling and texting, but to no avail.

Friday evening as I was half way through a bottle of Cabernet and in the middle of streaming a Glee re-run , I got a call!!! An actual phone call. One of my failed attempts had returned my call from the night before and asked if I wanted to join a group of friends a The Bunganut Pig. ohmygodyesthankyousomuchforcalling! And as I was getting ready to walk out the door, a second friend responded and agreed to meet me there as well. It was bliss. The band sucked big time, but I was thrilled just to be in an energized environment.

I was also invited for dinner at Jeff and Sherieda's tonight. Yes, it was a pity invite because they know how pathetic I am right now, and no, I don't care. I'm going regardless! I'll be there with bells on.

Just one more day of being alone, and thankfully it involves Easter Sunday service with my mom and Jimmy. It will at least be something to help pass the time. There's not shortage of conversation when mother is involved...

Les News

Last Saturday was full of outdoor activities and warm weather; today we're hanging out inside and doing chores. It's rainy and only 55 degrees (brr!) I'm fighting the urge to turn the heat on...

Work is going well for the both of us, and Sean is still flying once a week. It's time for him to start working on cross-country solo flights (which are destinations 50 miles away or more). In the next week or so, Sean and his instructor will be heading to Memphis to eat at Rendezvous (yum!) and see a Redbirds game. And at some point this summer (if I find the nerve) I'm planning to fly with him to Birmingham to eat at Saw's and visit the museum of flight. If it's one thing that will lure me into a small airplane, it's damn good BBQ.

This coming week holds some very exciting things for us. First, I'm meeting my "little sister" for the first time. Now, before your start thinking this is some secret love child that one of my parents kept hidden from me, let me explain: I volunteered to be a "Big Sister" for Big Brothers/Big Sisters mentorship program. I was fortunate enough to have wonderful "big sister" mentors enter my life when I was a pre-teen, so I'm excited about the opportunity to pay it forward. I was accepted into the program last week and matched almost immediately with a 10 year old girl who lives very close by. Monday I'll meet with my "little" and her mom, along with our Match Support Specialist. And assuming they like me, we'll begin weekly visits over the next year. I'm crazy-excited about all the fun activities that we'll get to share. Obviously, I'll keep her identity anonymous, but I do plan on sharing updates with you guys. Right now I'm a little nervous about the first meeting. Everyone keeps saying "Just be yourself!" Ha. It's just that, this is a very important first impression so I want to make sure it goes well. Wish me luck!

Tuesday is another exciting event...LADY GAGA. That's right, Sean and I will be seeing Gaga live and in concert. I'm preparing to have my mind blown by the most outlandish production of all time. You may be wondering how in the world I convinced my husband to see Lady Gaga. And let me tell you, it didn't take much work. He fessed up to being a full-blown pop-music fan several years ago. He also agreed to let me purchase Gaga tickets after he vetoed my request for a foreign exchange student. (Thankfully, he didn't ask how much they cost until AFTER I bought them...)

So there you have it - the latest news from the suburbs.

A Hot Spring Weekend

What do you find yourself doing on a hot spring weekend? And by hot I mean, 85 degrees and humid...ick.

Friday my Sister rolled into town from Lexington. We had a nice dinner on mom's patio and enjoyed telling stories and catching up.

On Saturday Sean and I joined our 3rd annual MS Walk with The Pirates (a.k.a. my friend Sherri). Our team raised over $1500 this year!!! Many thanks to all of you who contributed to our fundraising efforts. The team walked proudly together through Edwin Warner Park on Saturday (sweating, of course) and then we celebrated over a Mexican lunch. Murphy got to join us at the restaurant, too, and he was one happy pup.

Following lunch, Sean attempted to re-build the pergola. And after a 4 hour battle (which included a trip to Home Depot), he lost the fight. But not for long! He got back at it again today with more nuts, bolts and duct tape, and he won!!! The pergola is standing tall on the patio this evening as if the pseudo-tornado never happened. I watched him laboring from my kitchen window, and all I can say is Thank God for Husbands. You heard me. I would have NEVER had the patience or the skill to re-build a pile of metal scraps.

Late in the afternoon, I met up with my sister and little bro for a walk in the park. The weather kept us hot and sticky so we didn't stay out too long. We tried to cool ourselves in the shade, but with no money to spend on the ice cream truck we decided to head home to the cool AC!

Saturday night turned into a lovely Date Night for Sean and me. Earlier in the week I stumbled across an ad for a pizzeria called Bella Napoli. Me being the pizza lover that I am decided that we MUST try it...and soon! The restaurant venue is adorable and romantic. Most of the tables are placed outside in a private alley, beneath a canopy of white Christmas lights. Sitting snug between the buildings reminded us of our honeymoon in Italy. Going to Bella Napoli gave also gave us a chance to see a part of Nashville that we'd never explored - Edgehill Village. As suburbanites, we've really lost touch with the downtown area so I think this date night helped us restore some of our coolness. Oh, and the pizza was delish! Perfect crispy crust, fresh ingredients...MMmmmmm....

Just as we were leaving the restaurant - bellys full and quite content - we spotted owner/chef Paolo. We know Paolo from his work at Valentino's, an up-scale Italian restaurant just up the road. Paolo may not know it, but he had a personal hand in making our honeymoon very special. Four years ago as we were leaving for Italy, Paolo insisted that we meet up with his sister-in-law in Florence. He made sure she had our names and the name of our hotel, and upon arriving (very late and with no luggage) we had a message from Emanuella, that she had been by to see us. Two days later Emanuella gave us a tour of the city and took us to her favorite restaurant. We had the most amazing time hanging out with her, and felt so lucky to receive local hospitality from Nashville all the way to Florence. I didn't stop and speak to Paolo last night because I wasn't quite sure it was him until after we got in the car...but next time I'll be sure to speak to him. And there will be a next time! (hopefully not too long from now).

I woke up early this Sunday morning, about 6:30, and everything was so quiet and beautifully lit by the morning sun. The air was still somewhat cool (anything is cool compared to 85), so I stayed outside a little longer and snapped a photo of my pretty pink dogwood. Then I fixed scratch biscuits for breakfast before heading to church. Church was followed by jog, which was followed by lunch at Sperry's with the family. We said our farewells to Sister - sad to see her go because I barely got to see her, but we'll meet up again next month for our Sisters Weekend in NYC!