Friday, June 11, 2010

Did you know?

Did you know...
...that I want to lose 13 pounds? (preferably, in 1 week before I go to the beach.) Oh, that's right! We're going to Panama City in just 9 days. And I'm worried about oil being there, but oh well...I'll take a vacation where I can get one, oil or not. My dad is turning 50 (FIFTY!) and he'll have all his children there with him for the entire week. I hope my brother has a good time with us. It's going to be a challenge keeping him entertained all week. He always seems depressed, so I hope spending the week with us lifts his spirits. I know what it's like to be in his shoes, caught in the middle of a divorce and starting middle school. Been there, done that, glad I don't have to do it again. My heart goes out to the little guy. I'm looking forward to a week full of sun and sand. I haven't been to PCB in ages, and I can't wait to go to Shipwreck Island (the water park).

Did you know...
...that our stupid rental house sprung another leak? Yes, ANOTHER one. Not the one where the tree fell on the roof. No, that one got fixed. This is a NEW leak. The rental house makes my stomach hurt. I hope we're making the right decision by hanging on to it. I have bad dreams about the house falling apart sometimes. I fear that it'll suck up all our money (and by "all our money" I mean the teeny little bit that we have in savings).

Did you know...
...that I've been having a hard time focusing lately? Focusing on life, that is. Maybe focus is the wrong way to describe it. I feel very unsettled, and like I'm not doing a good job I think things are moving too quickly. My brain gets all mushy, I worry about crazy things, and then I get a heavy feeling in my chest. The world just feels like it's spinning around me, and I'm having a hard time keeping up. I like to think of myself as a very organized person, but lately, not so much...I wish everything would just sloooow doooown so I didn't feel like life was getting away from me. I really like to savor the small moments in life and I'm not doing much savoring right now. I'm trying to squeeze all my savoring into a few hours on the weekends, and I don't like that. A lot of my unsettled feeling comes from my job. Life is too short, and I feel like I'm wasting my days doing something I'm not happy with. Let me make an announcement to the world: I DON'T CARE ABOUT PCI COMPLIANCE! There, I said it. I'm zero point zero percent passionate about what I do. Part of me wants to be at least half way passionate about my career. The other part of me thinks that no one likes their job, and that's why God created retirement.

I think I'm going to go savor a glass of box wine and watch a scary Netflix movie. Maybe that will keep my mind off not being satisfied.

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