Saturday, April 23, 2011

All by myself...

solitude
sol-i-tude
noun
1: the quality or state of being alone or remote from society : seclusion
2: a lonely place (as a desert)
3: something I desperately despise

Sure, I have the occasional need for alone time...which lasts about 3 hours, and then I'm ready to rejoin society. And my craving for alone time comes only once in a blue moon. What can I say? I'm an extrovert to the fullest extent. With my hubs in Chicago for a long weekend, I don't know what to do with myself. This is driving me CRAZY!!! I am literally a crazed person right now. I have *plenty to do to keep me busy - taking care of the dog, doing chores, errands, planting in the flower beds - but no one with whom to share it. I'm pacing, I'm feeling panicky, and I officially hate being alone.

**I had my first real visit with my "little" on Friday. Will share details in a separate post.

An example:
After a long, hard day at work Sean prefers to return home for a quiet and relaxing evening. So relaxing, in fact, that he may not lift a finger all night (except to click the mouse on his laptop.) This is how Sean decompresses and recharges his batteries. I'm quite the opposite. After a long day at work where my brain is fried to the point I have a stress headache, I want to throw a party, go to happy hour with friends, get people together for dinner, ANYTHING that involves human interaction. I don't even care if it's with strangers. I de-stress by mingling.

Sean left on Thursday night and won't be returning until late Monday. That's FOUR long nights of solitude for those of you who are counting. The minute I got home from dropping him off at the airport, I called and texted just about everyone I know who lives in a 20 mile radius. I think I was entering panic mode. I was desperate. See, knowing that I'd be crazy I went ahead and planned an evening with my friend Diva, but those plans fell through and she needed to reschedule. How dare she leave me in my hour of need! I wanted to do something...with someone...dinner...talking...drinking...whatever! Just anything to avoid being alone. Unfortunately, my electronic mobile device must've been broken because no one responded. So I moped...and I moped some more on Friday...and did some more calling and texting, but to no avail.

Friday evening as I was half way through a bottle of Cabernet and in the middle of streaming a Glee re-run , I got a call!!! An actual phone call. One of my failed attempts had returned my call from the night before and asked if I wanted to join a group of friends a The Bunganut Pig. ohmygodyesthankyousomuchforcalling! And as I was getting ready to walk out the door, a second friend responded and agreed to meet me there as well. It was bliss. The band sucked big time, but I was thrilled just to be in an energized environment.

I was also invited for dinner at Jeff and Sherieda's tonight. Yes, it was a pity invite because they know how pathetic I am right now, and no, I don't care. I'm going regardless! I'll be there with bells on.

Just one more day of being alone, and thankfully it involves Easter Sunday service with my mom and Jimmy. It will at least be something to help pass the time. There's not shortage of conversation when mother is involved...

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