Friday, July 1, 2011

Remembering to Dream

I need to remind myself to dream. No, not the kind of dreaming you do at night - the kind that is supposed to motivate you and keep you striving for more.

Hi, I'm Stacey, and I'm in a rut.

Dreaming is challenging for me. Sure, there are fantastical places I'd to see and experience, and there are accomplishments and careers that I'd like to explore. But, I don't allow myself to think about those things. I shut them out of my mind as quickly as possible because I believe it's a waste of time.

I used to, a lot. It was called high school. I spent countless hours dreaming about escaping my small town and seeing the world, living on my own, finding my freedom and finding myself, starring in movies, finding happiness, opening a bakery, falling in love, becoming a photographer for Rolling Stone or National Geographic...

...but somewhere along the way I became jaded. Too jaded. Girl, get your head out of the clouds! Life just started happening, and jobs happened, and mortgages happened...

Don't get me wrong - I'm proud of what I've accomplished so far. My life is wonderful, and I have so much to be thankful for, but I can't help mourning those days when I felt like the sky was the limit. Nothing is easy anymore. I know too much about the bad things that can happen in life, the consequences. I have responsibilities to uphold. I went from being fearless to completely fearful. I guess reality sank in and I grew up.

Still, there are times like this - like these "rut" times - where I need to unleash my mind and let my spirit soar instead of locking myself down into the dark rut places.

So what if dreaming is a waste of time? Today I will try to dream. I will try...

No comments: