Confession: I didn't do anything productive yesterday. Not a single thing. Just for the record, neither did Sean. I guess we are even.
It was a cold, still Saturday. Patches of snow are still left on the ground. I attended a funeral (my step sisters lost their grandmother). The burial was touching - someone released balloons. I lost the feeling in my toes. Everyone stood around afterwards, not really knowing what to do or what to say.
It made me sad. Sad for them because I know they are hurting. And sad for me because I remembered the burial of my grandmother just a little over 1 year ago. I don't like to think about death. Not just because our loved ones have passed, but because I'm afraid that I'm not doing enough living while I still have time on this earth.
Thinking about life coming to an end makes me feel like I'm not making the most of my days, not enjoying life to its fullest. Which is why I'm even MORE disappointed in myself for staying in yesterday and napping. I came home after the funeral feeling a little drained from weeping, and so I took a THREE HOUR nap. A Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon was on, so I watched a big chunk of that, and played with Murphy.
Before I knew it, mom was calling to see if we wanted to meet up with the family* for a 6:00 dinner at Nachos. Dinner already! I haven't done anything all day!
Dinner was chaotic, and Sean and I were forced to calm our nerves with several beers. After a quick stop a Home Depot for a mop head, we returned home to watch District 9. I promptly fell asleep (had zero interest in a movie about aliens).
So today is a new day! A sunny day, a somewhat warm day. I plan on being much more productive, breathing in fresh air and smiling a lot. I better get started! It's just past noon and I'm still in my PJ's. Did you know that planning a week's worth of healthy yet cost-effective meals is a long, challenging and somewhat sucky task? Yes, well...it is.
*the family in this case consisted of my mom and step-dad, his 4 daughters, 3 sons-in law, 5 of his 8 grandchildren, and 4 random friends. I hope someone remembered to tip the server...